She is tall, in this dream, so very tall. She has never been so tall before, except for the time she remembers riding on her uncle’s shoulders and waving at the people passing by on the street.
Aayla likes being tall, she decides.
This is different though, she isn’t riding on anyone’s shoulders. This is her, tall and strong and wearing strange clothes she’s never seen before.
There are men with her, perhaps human men, in strange armor she can’t quite make out. It blurs at the edges and hurts her eyes when she tries to looks but Aayla doesn’t worry. These are friends! She loves them! She doesn’t remember meeting so many human men but it probably isn’t important.
The light tells her they are warm and safe.
She doesn’t quite understand what the light is yet but it’s alright! She figures it’s one of those strange things only adults actually know, like where credits come from or what happened to her cousin from down the street.
It is a strange dream, she is certain she has never seen these plants before but every time she tries to get a better look they seem to move further away in the time it takes her to blink.
The light is agitated now and she tries to soothe it, to tell it this is only a dream.
There is a bird and Aayla watches it fly away.
The light screams.
Aayla wonders if this is what dying feels like. She wonders if this is what the old woman down the road feels when she moves her hands too much. If it is, Aayla wonders that she does not cry.
Aayla doesn’t understand.
Did the light lie to her? It never has before. It said those humans were her friends. She thought they were her friends.
It hurts, it hurts and Aayla falls.
Blue clashes viciously with blue and somewhere Aayla knows it is wrong.
Beads brush proudly against her shoulder and somewhere Aayla knows it is right.
There are yellow, sunken eyes shining with horrible glee and destruction.
There are dark, kind eyes shining with quiet joy and encouragement.
She is in a garden, she is at peace.
She is in a trench, she is at war.
She is alone.
She is surrounded by more family than she can name.
She doesn’t have a family.
Her family is dead.
She doesn’t understand!
She is little again, there are no strange men or mysterious forests. There are no sunken hateful eyes or peaceful gardens.
She gasps, trying to sit up.
This is not her room.
She is on a couch, a blanket half covering her legs.
She has never been here before.
Her head swivels in growing panic. Her lekku brush against her back, they weren’t long enough to do that when she went to sleep. Where is she?
“Aayla?”
She wants to relax at the soft voice, she trusts him. She can’t trust him.
The light told her she could trust the strange armored men and they ki-, they hurt her!
The light wavers, almost like it is sad. It should be sad! Aayla doesn’t know why it’s hurting her! She is angry with the light.
“Aayla? Are you alright?” There is another human, he has a yellow stripe across his face. He crouches in front of her and reaches up to thumb at her tears.
Oh.
Oh, she’s crying.
Her lip quivers for a moment.
She doesn’t know this human, everything is strange and she doesn’t like this dream anymore.
He opens his arms and Aayla doesn’t second guess her decision to fall into his arms and sob.
“There, there Padawan. It will be alright.” Aayla doesn’t know what a padawan is, she hopes it’s something nice.
The light circles her, it feels almost like the time one of the neighbor kids punched her in the face by accident and didn’t know how to make it better.
“What’s wrong?”
Aayla manages to choke out something, she has no idea what.
She feels him stiffen for a moment before carefully relaxing and rubbing her back in comfort.
“The future is always in motion.” He murmurs.
Of course it is, probably, Aayla hasn’t gone to school yet.
“What?” She grumbles.
He doesn’t seem to hear her, staring off somewhere into the distance. He doesn’t stop holding her though, so Aayla doesn’t care much.
The light feels safe and Aayla relaxes in this stranger’s embrace.
She wonders what it all means.
If this is yet another thing that only adults understand.
Aayla is falling.
It is nothing like before. Before what? There was something? It hurt? She thought she was d-. It’s all fuzzy and confused in her mind now.
Is she still dreaming?
She looks around.
It is dark now, and cold, and oh, that’s right. Aayla is alone.
She knows what happened to her cousin now, it is happening to her. She wonders if this is what growing up is supposed to feel like.
Aayla hugs her legs to her chest and wishes…
The images are fuzzy but… there was a human, she thinks, perhaps, he gave her a hug. She would very much like another one.
The light wraps around her, mournful and sad.
She tries to smile, maybe that will make the light feel better.
There is a loud noise somewhere, the banging of a big door.
Aayla flinches.
She hopes they aren’t coming for her.
There is another noise now, and shouting, so much shouting.
Aayla will be brave.
She hugs herself tighter, her fingers clinging to her filthy clothes.
The commotion is coming closer and there is nowhere for Aayla to run or hide, the slavers made sure of it.
She wishes she was somewhere else.
She wishes she was still dreaming.
She can hear blaster fire now and an unfamiliar-familiar buzzing.
The light seems to perk up.
The door slams open and Aayla blinks through the disorientation of brightness after so long in the dark.
“Oh, hey there!” There is a human, not an adult, probably. Aayla isn’t quite sure how human ages work, or if this even is a human.
He has a yellow stripe across his face, it makes Aayla feel safe. Fuzzy impressions of someone like this holding her and thumbing away her tears. She doesn’t remember the braid being there.
He smiles at her, a confident grin even as his hands reflexively tighten their grip on the object in his hands.
“Want to get out of here?”
He offers her a hand.
Aayla doesn’t hesitate to take it.